Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
someone owes me an orgasm
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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