so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
