you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize