What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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