4 words: hood of his car
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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