I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
