Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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