god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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