Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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