I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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