There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
