Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found puke in my bra..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
