I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize