is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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