Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
