piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
