Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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