If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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