I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
