well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
