i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
