Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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