Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I AM VODKA MAN
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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