Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
