Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
