I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
