There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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