i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
