New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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