Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
