This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
