im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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