What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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