She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
