I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
