dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
