So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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