Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I fill condoms, not promises.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
