why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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