Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
