You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
