we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
