No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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