And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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