mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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