so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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