the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
