I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
