dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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