Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
