Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
