I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize