I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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