i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I see more hoeing in ur future
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