Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
smell my finger.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
