3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
