Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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