he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My bed smells like the plague
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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