I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
