sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
