Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
