i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
