I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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