Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she looked like the before picture.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
