What a fucking waste of an outfit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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