She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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